This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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