I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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