Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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