I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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