I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
