Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
