1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
