i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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