So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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