R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
