she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
