I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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