i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
