So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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