WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
