i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
nutella sex= disaster
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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