is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
