If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
