Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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