some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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