Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
