I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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