yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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