Have you finally orgasmed yet?
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
