that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
