so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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