I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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