i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
