Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
