So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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