Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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