My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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