You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
