how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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