i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
