Don't make out with my wife yet
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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