don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
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and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
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I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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