I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
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Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
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I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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