You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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