Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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