I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
