Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
