i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
