Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize