you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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