another moral hangover. fuck.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
