It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
The best revenge is premature balding
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
