So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
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he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
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last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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