There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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