what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
a search helicopter?!
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Randomize
