moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
