My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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