you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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