Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
