i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
