If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
