I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize