I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
