This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
