We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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