I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
