yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Randomize
