haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
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I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
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My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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