I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
