i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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