my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
