Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
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Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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