Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
