do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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