I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
try to milk me bitch
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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